When women are faced with a man with toxic qualities, we immediately try to figure out how we can change him and make him a better version of himself, instead of walking away.
This is because Toxic Men have some really compelling POSITIVE QUALITIES. These positive qualities are a huge part of the reason why you stay with him for as long as you do.
These POSITIVE QUALITIES are so powerful, so addicting, you almost can’t help yourself. He may be extremely romantic at times, telling you how attracted he is to you and how “different” you are from any other woman he’s met. This can make you feel very wanted and beautiful.
Breaking The Pattern Of Toxic Relationships - So You Feel Loved And Supported… Forever
I knew something had to change in my toxic relationship. I had to find my way back to the strong, courageous and joyous woman I used to be.
I experimented with putting my energy back into myself and my work instead of into HIM and HIS work. And I started to see myself as a separate person again. All of a sudden his clever put-downs and complaining and pointing out my weaknesses seemed childish.
And, amazingly enough - he STOPPED putting me down. By focusing on myself rather than him, I instinctively felt more like stepping away from him when he was nasty to me instead of working harder to win his approval in that moment. And - he changed.
But not enough… He DID transform, but I realized that the man he was wasn’t enough for me. Understanding what I wanted and deserved in a relationship helped me break the addiction and move on.
Ultimately, something magical happened - the good guy who would become my husband appeared. And, when the inevitable ups and downs of relationships showed up with my fiance, I knew how to deal with it. Because I KNEW he was worth it.